Forget Me Not
by FlightlessBird1122
Summary: He wouldn't accept it. She couldn't be dead. They'd promised, but apparently that wasn't enough. He wished he could turn back time and do things over. Take back his words. Now he'd never be able to."I'm sorry" Based on Secrets by Starlight Curse:


**Based on **_**Secrets**_** by **_**Starlight Curse**_

**Forget Me Not**

"_A moment of silence for all_

_For all who died_

_People we don't know_

_People that would die for us_

_For what they believe in"_

Everyone everywhere was silent.

Whether it was from shock or despair or outright awkwardness, it didn't matter. Sorrow had stolen all of their voices, leaving a breathless silence in its wake. It seemed almost as if time had stopped for a moment. Everything was serene and still as they tried to comprehend the stolid man's words.

"_I'm here to announce the death of Mikan Sakura."_

Natsume Hyuuga was no stranger to death. He'd killed thousands before the age of ten and had seen just as many friends die as he did foes, but one thing he was not accustomed to was the painful twist in his gut that he felt at Persona's words.

His first reaction was to deny it. And he would. Until he saw her lying still and lifeless he couldn't bring himself to believe that his light in the endless sea of darkness he was drowning in had abandoned him. He couldn't believe she was dead.

Then he felt the anger, however irrational, bubble up in his chest. How could he! How could this man stand before the whole class and lie like this! Why would he spout blasphemy about Mikan's death? Natsume felt like screaming. Like burning the man until his ashes were nothing but cinders engraved into the ground. He'd almost done the same to a senior that badmouthed his favorite tangerine a while ago.

This was a thousand times worse.

Because he couldn't deny the doubt in the back of his mind. There was a good possibility that she was in the DA class. The class where he was forced to reduce thousands to cinder without remorse and pretend everything was okay the next day. It changed him into a cold, ruthless person. Someone who didn't remember how to smile, who had no reason to.

They were trained to do the academy's dirty work at the cost of their own lives. Either the strain of their alices killed them or a stray bullet led the young operatives to their demise. He still had nightmares.

Truthfully, Natsume couldn't even imagine Sakura, who cried over killing spiders, hurting anyone. Yet, somehow he couldn't put the idea out of his mind. It would explain so much! It didn't happen too often but he caught all of her slip-ups. Every time she wore high-socks with her summer uniform or attempted to cover up a scar with poorly applied make-up he noticed and carefully filed the information away.

They only continued to worsen as time went on. He hoped that her wounds were just a result of her perpetual clumsiness but that didn't explain the giant blue scar that stretched from her thigh to her calf or the one on her collar bone or arm. The list of peculiarities only continued to lengthen as time passed.

He knew there was something wrong from the first day she'd arrived at the academy again. She had been unlike her usual self. The chatterbox was silent, almost melancholy, and her smiles seemed to lack their usual luster. She was different.

The Mikan Sakura that they all loved had changed in her absence. She had learned the truths of the world, something Natsume would give anything to have protected her from, and she'd been tainted by them. The innocent happy-go-lucky girl that they all loved was gone.

And it hurt. A lot. He heard somebody start sobbing somewhere in the room but chose to ignore it. He couldn't let it affect him. He couldn't allow himself to believe the truths so obviously placed before him. A low murmur spread throughout the room and Natsume felt his composure slipping.

He couldn't live without her.

Natsume gripped the miniscule alice stone in his hand firmly, holding onto the most definite reminder of him that he had. The nearly translucent orange stone had been given to him by Sakura a few years back and, though he would deny it if you asked, it remained in his pocket. The only piece of her he had now.

"I'm sorry, Natsume." He looked up, dull red irises meeting Youichi's water-logged grey eyes despondently. Then the small boy placed a letter atop his desk before slinking away silently. The pure white envelope read "Natsume" in clumsy scrawl that could only be hers and his heart broke.

Why did she have to give up so much for a cause that wasn't even worth fighting for? Why didn't she tell them? Why did she feel the need to protect them? To die for them!

"Mikan" Was the only word that escaped his lips as Natsume's fingers gently felt the smooth paper of the unopened envelope. How could he be so blind? A sob wracked his body as he came to a realization.

Mikan was dead… and it was all his fault. _"You're annoying"_ He couldn't apologize for yesterday before gruffly taking her hand. _"Leave me alone"_ There was no taking back what he said. The only person he'd ever loved was dead and there was nothing he could do about it. _"I hate you"_

He didn't want to believe it.

But he had to.

"_I'm sorry"_

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A/N- So this oneshot was based on the story Secrets by Starlight Curse (find her!) and I really love her story:) If there's anything you don't quite understand it's because you haven't read her story. Sorry... Anyway! Tell me what you think!


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